Darrin Cavers: Kayaker. Motorcycle Enthusiast. Family man. Husband. Born June 24, 1967, in Woodstock, Ontario; died April 29, 2022, in Leamington, Ontario, from cancer; aged 54.
If you had ever been lucky enough to receive one of his famous bear hugs, you would have in an instant known Darrin Cavers. These enveloping hugs, and the sincerity with which they were delivered, were his trademark. And he was not sparing with them. According to his brother, Al, the Cavers are all huggers but Darrin set an example for everyone else to follow.
Darrin’s physical strength was legendary. As a teenager, he would lift tobacco racks to the third level of a kiln without a winch. Later, as a young man, he would carry two bundles of shingles up a twenty-foot ladder. But Darrin’s size and strength belied the soft and sensitive person underneath. According to his wife, Kim, Darrin often cried at movies, and sometimes even at commercials.
Expressing his emotions through words did not always come easily but showing them through his actions was second nature to Darrin. His friends called him kind, loving, fun and reliable. In fact, one thing was for sure: if you were in a mess, Darrin would be there to help you find a way out.
As kids, Darrin and Al were joined at the hip and, according to Al, he could be a bit of a jerk to his younger brother. But it didn’t matter to Darrin. He admired and loved his brothers, Greg and Al.
According to family friend, Jeff Dupuis, the Cavers’ home was the hub of activity in the neighbourhood throughout their youth. Jeff considered Darrin, Greg and Al his brothers and Lorna and Jim Cavers another set of parents. On Friday nights, their home was full of the neighbourhood kids, with Pink Floyd blaring on the speakers, and Lorna and Jim making the rounds as chaperones.
Jeff’s mom used to remark that she didn’t know what they were doing over there, but Lorna and Jim were definitely doing something right! Greg, Al and Darrin were known by all as well-mannered and well-behaved boys who learned their love of the outdoors from their dad and their love of people from their mom.
At 21, Darrin experienced a life-changing event while working a gig as a bartender at The Hideaway (formerly Spencer’s). On a particularly rowdy evening, he found himself catching his future wife in his arms when she took a small slip. Realizing that neither she nor her friends should try to drive, Darrin made sure she got home safely. Kim remembers him being very respectful on the ride and sweetly asking for her number as he escorted her to the door.
In November 1988, with his new-found love blossoming, Darrin faced another life-changing event just a short month later when he lost his beloved mother to cancer at the young age of 48. With his father, Jim, working the day shift, Darrin had become Lorna’s primary caregiver during her illness, taking her to appointments and trying to ease her pain and discomfort at home. As difficult as it was, Darrin felt blessed to have had the time with her.
The next few years were a flurry of activity. Darrin was elated when he and Kim exchanged vows on New Year’s Eve in 1989. And then, in December 1991, they welcomed their daughter, Tessa. She was a happy-go-lucky, strong-willed, busy and sweet little girl. She adored her daddy and, as she grew up, daddy became Daddio, a pet name that stuck.
It was late summer of 1992 when the happy family of three moved into their new home in “Little Essex”, a cul-de-sac at the end of the Arner.
Neighbour Shawn Fougere remembers their arrival with a bit of a laugh. Darrin and Kim had started to build their present home on his well-used dirt bike track, a flagrant move in his eyes. Fortunately, he was able to get over it and he soon became a fast friend to Darrin. Shawn loved Darrin’s quick wit and called him the ‘King of the One Liners.’ He recalls the way Darrin would whistle into a freshly-cracked beer before taking his first sip and sharing his favourite secret recipe: melted snickers poured on ice cream.
In March 1993, the Cavers family, Kim, Darrin and Tessa, welcomed the arrival of their son, and brother, Keegan. Their family was complete and Darrin and Kim were elated. But their joy soon turned to worry when they discovered that Keegan was ill. At seven months, he was diagnosed with cancer and was nearly two years old when he finished his treatment. Slowly, he began to show his spirit as a little monkey who loved to climb on everything and keep his parents busy.
Darrin was a hands-on dad who loved spending time playing with his kids. He adored them and they loved him back. A favourite pastime was reading Shel Silverstein’s ‘The Giving Tree’ to Tessa and Keegan and, as Tessa recalls, it often made him cry.
By this time, Darrin had been working for the Town of Kingsville for several years when he was joined there by his old friend, Ken Vegh. Darrin and Ken had played football together in high school and later crossed paths at Liqui-Force. Now working together at the Town, they were inseparable, so much so that Ken gained a reputation as Darrin’s work husband.
When asked about his favourite memories of Darrin, Ken admitted there were too many to single one out. He recounted Darrin’s love of hockey. In the winter months, Ken would look forward to Thursday mornings when Darrin would regale Ken with an animated account of Wednesday night hockey. Darrin would describe in nitty-gritty detail, shift by shift, every play he made and the oh-so-many close calls on net he had and, occasionally (very occasionally), a goal! As Ken describes it, Darrin was to hockey as Prince was to….hockey!
Ken was also in awe of Darrin’s ability to fall asleep at will. Ken often wondered if he was the cause.
But beyond his hockey and sleeping skills, and the fact that he was loved by everyone, Ken most admired Darrin’s love for his family which he believed was beyond the description of any words in any language.
Darrin’s great sense of humour and his love of pulling pranks also won the friendship of neighbour Evelyn Rupert. From Evelyn’s observations, Darrin made the most of each day and lived a happy life. She also believes that Darrin holds the unofficial title of best snowplow driver that the town has ever known!
According to Jim Adams, another friend and neighbour in Little Essex, Darrin was the kind of guy that you wish more people could be like. He was a man with a big heart who was always on an even keel. The two went on motorcycle trips together to Nova Scotia and the Carolinas and had the time of their lives, laughing, joking and always looking for ways to have fun on the journey. Over the decade of their friendship, Jim saw many people mistaking Darrin’s quiet nature for shyness. Jim knew better: Darrin was no shrinking violet, he just didn’t need to be centre stage.
While family, friends and motorcycles figured heavily in Darrin’s life, no account would be complete without mention of his love of kayaking.
Self-taught at nineteen, Darrin continued to practice his sport at the University of Windsor, first as a student and later as an instructor. During the seventeen years that he taught there, he also gained his accreditation in Michigan, and still found the time to teach at both the Sherk Centre and Pelee Wings, in nearby Leamington.
Darrin had a true connection to the water and was never far from it. Kayaking kept him close to it, immersed in it as he paddled. He introduced his family to kayaking and they would often paddle together. Kim and Darrin did a kayak crossing from Pelee Island to Kingsville as a fundraiser for ChildCan. While weather reports were favourable, they were highly incorrect and the two foot waves they expected quickly became seven foot waves. It was an extremely tense situation but Kim remembers Darrin keeping his cool and calm throughout the ordeal and getting them back to safety.
Darrin always took things to a higher level. The brothers had a passion for canoe tripping which lead to white-water canoeing which was fun and physically demanding. Taking it up a notch, Darrin then introduced his brothers to the world of white-water kayaking.
Always near the water, when Darrin wasn’t paddling, he could be found sailing. At Cedar Island Yacht Club, competitors would often argue about who would get Darrin in their boat on sailing evenings. Darrin provided an advantageous weight to their strategy. Indeed, he was a big asset, but he was also agile which proved to be a winning combination: portable ballast.
Darrin’s friends and acquaintances all remember him as a loving father and husband who was happiest spending time outdoors, on the water or with his friends having a beer around a campfire. Al describes his brother as passionate; about family, about work, and about living life to the fullest.
Kim’s mother, Susanne Gingerich, remembers Darrin fondly as her favourite son-in-law. Even if she would have had another, he would have still been her favourite. As Susanne recalls, Darrin treated her with the love and respect that she knows he would have shown his own mother. He was much loved by the entire Gingerich family.
Darrin’s diagnosis was a difficult blow to everyone around him but Darrin faced his illness with his trademark calm and positive demeanour. During his hospital visits, he tried to put everyone at ease and he brought joy and laughter to his nurses who adored him.
When things became more difficult, he still put others first, striving to keep the people around him happy and laughing. In a new morning ritual, he would send a joke to both Keegan and his partner, Laura, to bring laughter to their day, before he even took his first sip of coffee.
And while the pandemic was difficult for many, Kim and Darrin were grateful to have the time together. Kim left her work out of concern for Darrin’s health and they passed their days playing cribbage and enjoying each other’s company.
Darrin moved to hospice when his health took a turn. Kim and their children spent the last days by his side playing cribbage and euchre, two games that he loved. During that time, Darrin shared his life observations. Most importantly, he wanted everyone around him to open their hearts to love and to experience the gifts of life that are free, spending time in nature, or on the water listening to the sound of the paddle.
Dear Kim and family, we are very sorry for your loss. It didn’t matter if you saw Darrin 6 months ago or more, it was like you picked up as though you saw him the day before. He will be missed. May your memories of Darrin bring you comfort.
Brien & Sue Sorrell
Our condolences!! Far too young. Robin here, don’t recognize the author of that amazing tribute but back in the day I was apart of those Friday Saturday nights. So many great memories. We’d be having a great time. Jim was off to bed, Lorna would play cards half the night. Haven’t seen anyone for 30 plus years. Hello to everyone. Let us know if there will be a celebration of life. Robin & Shelley Dawson Derrig
Very fond memories of Darrin as an elementary student – always polite, always with a smile, and always looking out for others. My sincere sympathies to the Cavers and Gingerich families and friends.
Such fond memories of a wonderful guy in his elementary school years! Darrin was always polite and always had a smile for everyone!
My condolences to his family and friends.
Very fond memories of Darrin during his years in elementary school. Always had a smile and was polite to everyone. My condolences to his family.
I am so sorry for your loss Kim and family. Darrin truly was a gentle giant and I loved working with him. He was always so caring and kind. If he knew you were having a tough day he made sure he came by to lift your spirits with a quick joke or laugh. He was bigger than life and will be missed by so many!
My Condolences to Kim and her family. May he rest easy in paradise 🙏
I have many fond memories of Darrin from my teenage years.
I am saddened to learn of Darrin’s passing as I remember him exactly how the words above describe him.
My heart goes out to his Al, Greg, Kim and their children all who had the fortune to know Darrin.
What a beautiful tribute for a sweet, kind and hilarious guy. Much love to you Kim and the whole family. Your minds will forever be filled with fond memories of Darrin.
Kim and family, I’m very sorry to hear about Darrin’s passing, we didn’t see each other for years, but we were friends from age 4. He always was there as a friend and always there to help. May you always remember the great times and the good vibes Darrin always gave out.
Sending my deepest condolences to Kim and you family. Sorry for your loss.
I am shocked and saddened to hear about Darrin. I am very sorry for your loss.
So sad to hear. What a beautiful tribute to a very special person. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
My deepest condolences. Darrin was such a sweet guy.
So sorry for you loss kim , Keagan and Tessa ! 🙏🏻
What a tribute to Darren’s Life! Beautiful Legacy he has left behind! I am sorry to hear of Darren’s passing. Kim, Tessa and Keegan my condolences.
So sorry to hear this. He used come in Every morning at The Dutch for morning coffee or lunch
My condolences to his family.
Kim, family and friends…my condolences to everyone, such an amazing person. May you find strength and comfort in all the great and wonderful memories you have shared. Sincerely, Cheryl
My thoughts and prayers are with you all….. 🦋❤️
In the early 70’s I was the babysitter for all three boys when they lived on Orchard Road in Kingsville. Jim and Lorna were the absolute best parents and it certainly showed in their sons. May Darrin’s legacy live on his children. RIP.
In my thoughts and prayers Kim
I played hockey with you in Harrows ladies league
Lois Rivest
So sorry for your loss.Deepest sympathy goes out to the entire family and friends. May your memories bring you comfort.
What a Legendary Man! So fortunate to have shared time and personally experienced his natural loving nature ❤️
My condolences Kim and family.
Darrin was a very special person and will leave a huge void in the community. His Mom and Dad were indeed special people also, loved the family. My deepest sympathies.
My deepest sympathies to you Kim, your children, The Cavers Family and Gingerich Family.
What an awesome tribute and such wonderful gifts Darrin left for you to treasure. May your hearts heal over time with the loving memories of Darrin.