Got questions? “Ask Kiki” is your local advice column for relationship woes, employment concerns and life issues. Today, Stuck in the Middle has questions and Kiki has answers:
Q/
Hi Kiki,
How can I have it all? I’ve been a homemaker for years but now that my kids are older I really want to work again. My husband thinks the house will be a mess and that I won’t be a good mom anymore. He counts on me to cook and take care of the house because his job is really demanding and he works a lot.
What do I do? How can I be a good mom and a career woman?
~ Stuck in the Middle ~
A/
Hello Stuck in the Middle,
That does sound like quite a pickle! I think whenever we do something new it seems scary or even impossible. Did you ever speak with your husband about work when you first talked about kids? It’s not abnormal for families to be double income these days and it’s not uncommon for parents to utilize before and after school care.
What I would do is start with a simple list of goals and turn it into a pro/con list.
Do you want to work full time or part time? Do you have an area of interest and have you researched what wage you might be able to expect?
Have you looked into child care options and balanced the cost versus your income? Are you wanting to get out of the house to socialize with adults or are you passionate about something in particular?
Maybe you have a really unique degree that could make you the perfect candidate for a certain job. Maybe you were working 80-hour weeks before having kids and can’t balance that lifestyle anymore.
I think it’s worth talking to your husband about. Does he have a predictable work schedule so he can help out with certain tasks? Are there any family members who can help out some days?
Do you enjoy cooking? Maybe have a freezer meal day where you two can prepare a few weeks’ worth of food.
I suppose what I am trying to say, is that you can have it all, but it’s never for free. You will need to have excellent time management; you will need to have a job that understands if your child is sick and you need to leave; and you will have to work with your husband to create a plan that works for both of you.
I am sure he’s nervous, but you married him! I’m sure he will support your decision! Just make a solid plan, make sure it’s worth it, and don’t be afraid to walk away if it’s not working.
~ Kiki ~
**********
Anyone who’s facing personal struggles, or who has a question, is welcome to write in. You are not alone and Kiki is ready to help. And don’t worry! You will remain completely anonymous. We respect your privacy.
Kiki is standing by to take your questions now at ask.kiki@kingsvilletimes.ca
Image by StartupStockPhotos from Pixabay