Many of us are experiencing a level of “work-life integration” right now that is less than ideal. (Insert screaming toddler during telemedicine consult, answering emails during snack time, and letting Paw Patrol run for a few minutes longer than you should so you can finish editing … ahem … your column.)
Despite this current bogged-down, running-in-the-sand type of feeling most parents can relate to during COVID, I think that this integration of work and life is actually good for us in the end. COVID has been the impetus that has pushed me to work towards this a little harder.
For so many years, the talk in my (and most) professions has been about achieving work-life balance. That, as it was toted, was the secret to happiness in life. If only we could achieve that perfect balance, then we would be happy.
But, how can we? And why do we feel like this is always just out of reach?
My husband and I have chatted recently about how life ebbs and flows — how there are times in your life when your personal life will be all-consuming (like after the birth of a child) or when your work life will be all-consuming (like after the purchase of a practice).
Your hope is that those all-consuming moments don’t overlap too much because it is frankly impossible to “do it all” — to give your all to both when you are in that ebb.
If you do it right, Simon Sinek says, your family will forgive you for when your work is all-consuming, and your work will forgive you for when your family is all-consuming. Balance he says, is the wrong analogy.
Work-life-integration, instead, is the paradigm shift that seems to be happening in my profession right now. This is not a new concept, though a bit novel for me. I find my profession sometimes lags when it comes to these types of things.
As I was reading and learning about this concept, I realized that I actually had great role models that were already doing this and set the bar.
I remember sitting in my Masters advisor’s office. We were both toiling away on whatever it was we were working on, when her husband called her on her office phone.
To my utmost surprise — this was not an emergency, there was nothing urgent to discuss — instead, the topic was whether they should have perogies for dinner or not. My advisor was happy to take this personal call during work hours, and was unapologetic about it. Her European heritage may have something to do with this — but I took note.
In Michele Obama’s podcast, she spoke of one of her mentors who set the rule with her assistant that, should her daughter call, there was no meeting, no conference call, no appointment important enough not to interrupt her. There was nothing at work that was more important than what her daughter had to say.
I remember being on a house call with my externship advisor, a farm call with a difficult, though successful, calving. After the work was done, we were invited inside for coffee and cookies.
While we were working? There were still many hours left in our shift, lots to do — but she did not hesitate to accept the invitation and enjoy the delicious offerings.
These are all examples of work life integration — that just happened seamlessly.
I am a small business owner, a practice owner, and as such I have many stressors that others may not. I work many hours outside of my “working hours” — on planning, budgets, projections, health and safety, etc. I wholeheartedly accept this, but I am also starting to insist on the work-life integration that I feel I need to stay happy.
I will print and fax those daycare forms at work, I will take that personal call in-between appointments, I will create the schedule that fits me, my family and my clients best — and, most importantly I will be unapologetic about it.
Have I found the perfect work-life integration yet? Of course not. But I am glad I have shifted my thinking. I don’t need to turn off my work self when I’m at home, and I don’t need to separate the personal from my work. As long as that integration is healthy, and as long as I am able to accept the ebbs when they come.
Do you remember the episode of Seinfeld with multiple Georges? Relationship George would kill Independent George should they ever exist in the same space … He insisted that “a George divided against itself cannot stand.” I’ll argue instead that we can indeed have all the Georges get along.
Article Links:
Work & Life Are Not Opposing Forces | Simon Sinek at LinkedIn Speaker Series 2019 – YouTube
The Chronicle of Evidence-Based Mentoring | The Michelle Obama Podcast Episodes on Mentoring