Got questions? “Ask Kiki” is your local advice column for relationship woes, employment concerns and life issues. Today, Bad Friend has questions and Kiki has answers:

Q/

Hi Kiki,

I’m having trouble with one of my friends. With all of the changes that have happened in the last few months I found I’ve started to butt heads with one of my closest friends.

Me and my family are taking coronavirus seriously and taking all the recommended precautions. My friend on the other hand doesn’t seem to think it’s real and gets very angry, feeling like her rights are being taken away. How do I meet her in the middle?

~ Bad Friend ~

A/

Hi Bad Friend,

Thanks for reaching out, and you are not a bad friend! Friends don’t have to see eye to eye on everything, but I do see why this is an important issue because it’s health related.

What I found over the years is that it’s very unlikely for a person to listen to another and say he’s changed his mind. As adults we do need to spend more time listening to one another and admitting that there are other ways of looking at things.

Adults should be able to say “I didn’t know that,” “thank you for that information,” “I didn’t see it that way,” or “I will take that into consideration.” But oftentimes the older we get the more stubborn we become.

My best recommendation is to validate her feelings even if you don’t agree with them. She’s entitled to an opinion even if it goes against your own. However, since safety is important to you I would recommend letting her know that due to the precautions in place you won’t be able to see her in person until after the threat has subsided.

In the meantime, you can think about doing a Zoom Chat or FaceTime, or just talking on the phone. I’ve even seen people doing driveway visits from 6 feet apart.

At this point, she has probably seen the news, read the paper, or heard from various people what the risks are. But because nothing has been mandated, it is not your job to police her. You spoke your piece and you’ve done all you can.

By the same token, she has shared with you how she feels, her reasons for those feelings and I think it’s time to let the conversation rest. It seems like you care about her, but you do need to find something else to talk about.

This is an unfortunate situation but you don’t want to lose your friendship over it. Stand your ground with the precautions you are taking, and if she is a true friend, she will be happy to Zoom with you over a glass of wine one evening.

~ Kiki ~

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